What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
