The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
