All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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