real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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