I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
