why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
