I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
