what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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