we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
