i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
