If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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