I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
