The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
