Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
