Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
