Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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