I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
