so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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