So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
