her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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