Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
