he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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