OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
