He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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