May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
