This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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