I should be sponsored by Trojan
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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