oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
