I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You pole danced in your parka.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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