My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
