pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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