These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
