i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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