I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm too high and old for this...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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