I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
