And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
