girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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