Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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