Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
