Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
