Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
