it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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