No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
