Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
