No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
