Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
