I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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