i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
