Me too!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
