I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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