He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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